- Winston Churchill

For they are the ones who think you are better than them!!”

I got tickets to fly there on “WISH-I-HAD” airlines. It was an extremely short flight. I got my “baggage,” which I could not check. I chose to carry it myself all the way. It was loaded down with a thousand memories of “what might have been.” No one greeted me as I entered the terminal to the Regret City International Airport. I say international because people from all over the world come to this dismal town.

As I checked into the “Last Resort” Hotel, I noticed that they would be hosting the year’s most important event — the annual “Pity Party.” I wasn’t going to miss that great social occasion. Many of the towns leading citizens would be there.

First, there would be the “Done” family; you know, “Should Have,” “Would Have” and “Could Have.” Then came the “I Had” family. You probably know old “Wish” and his clan. Of course, the “Opportunities” family; “Missed and Lost,” would be present. The biggest family there would be the “Yesterday’s.”

There are far too many of them to count, but each one would have a very sad story to share. Of course, “Shattered Dreams” would surely make and appearance. “It’s Their Fault” family would regale us with stories (excuses) about how things had failed in their life. Each story would be loudly applauded by the “Don’t Blame Me” and “I Couldn’t Help It” committee.

To make a long story short, I went to this depressing party, knowing full well there would be no real benefit in doing so. And, as usual, I became very depressed. But as I thought about all of the stories of failures brought back from the past, it occurred to me that this trip and subsequent “pity parties” COULD be cancelled by ME!

I started to realize that I did not have to be there. And I didn’t have to be depressed. One thing kept going through my mind, I CAN’T CHANGE YESTERDAY, BUT I DO HAVE THE POWER TO MAKE TODAY A WONDERFUL DAY. I can be happy, joyous, fulfilled, encouraged, as well as being encouraging.

Knowing this, I left Regret City immediately, and didn’t leave a forwarding address. Am I sorry for mistakes I’ve made in the past? YES! But there is no way to undo them.

So, if you’re planning a trip back to Regret City, please cancel all those reservations now. Instead, take a trip to a nice place called: “Starting Again.” I like it so much that I made it my permanent residence. My neighbors, the “Been Forgiven” and the “We’re Saved” are so very helpful. By the way, you don’t have to carry around the heavy baggage anymore either. That load is lifted from your shoulders upon arrival. But don’t take my word for it, find out for yourself.

- Author Unknown

After breaking another plowshare one day, and remembering all the trouble the rock had caused him through the years, he finally decided to do something about it.

When he put the crowbar under the rock, he was surprised to discover that it was only about six inches thick and that he could break it up easily with a sledgehammer. As he was carting the pieces away he had to smile, remembering all the trouble that the rock had caused him over the years and how easy it would have been to ged rid of it sooner.

- Brian Cavanaugh
“The Sower’s Seeds”

- Anthony Robbins

There is an IMPORTANT LESSON for all of us here :

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives. People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth.

Some changes were phenomenal.

Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected – denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.
When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again.

Here are the most common five regrets expressed by them :

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to Myself – not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late.

Health brings a freedom very few realise … until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I hadn’t work so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation. Many of the female patients had not been breadwinners.

All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence. By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result. We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying. It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them – It is their FRIENDSHIPS !

They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. Friendships -

That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had allowed myself be Happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice.
They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a CHOICE. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, Choose wisely, Choose honestly. Choose HAPPINESS !
Then, you will have NO REGRETS !
Think about it …..

Sent by Anand Sivakumaran

- Denis Waitley

- Ella Wheeler Wilcox

‘S’ stands for Seva, to think beyond yourself and reach out to others. Seva is to be selfless in your thoughts and way of life. Most of us are sevikas or sevaks in some form or other; for we know that the joy of giving is far greater than the joy of receiving.

‘P’ signals two aspects, the first of which is the passage of life. None of us are immortal. So on this passage of life as William Penn, the poet, wrote, “I expect to pass through the life but once, if there be any kindness i can show, let me do it now, as i shall not pass this way once again.” And even as you do so, please do it with a sense of perseverance for perseverance can move mountains. So run your own race in very act of life.

Moving on to the three ‘I’s in the word ‘spirituality’, these reflect three distinct values. Integrity, Inner Voice and Inspire – be inspired and inspire others. Integrity is character. Inner voice is the stairway to spirituality as it always goads you to do what is right, to live by one’s conscience and by values. Following this stretch is inspirational for you and others as well.

‘R’ is to learn to smell the roses on your way. Being positive is so restorative. You will never feel that you are ever in the midst of a storm. Every situation can then be faced with equanimity and fortitude. For one knows that this, too, shall pass.

‘T’ stands for transcendence, so transcend with inner reflection, meditation, yoga, self-control and compassion. The second ‘T’ says, if you practise these creative ways of looking at life, you will surely attain tranquillity and be at peace with yourself.

‘U’ is all about the universality and oneness of humankind. On realising this, increasingly you are able to brush aside prejudices. Differences cease to matter. Aren’t each one of us just a speck in the universe?

‘A’ is for acceptance. Accept yourself and others unconditionally. ‘A’ also entails the total negation of arrogance, and with humi-lity being the ACE in your chosen field.

And this brings me to the letter ‘L’ that reminds you to have the largeness of heart to remember only the goodness of people and blanket out any pain or hurt that is encountered in varying degrees of relationships. The past and future are of no relevance as we cannot control or predict either. Most important, learn to travel light. The Moment is now. Life is too short, so cherish every moment.

‘T’, the second last letter in spirituality, stands for Trust. Let me share something that Steve Jobs would say: “You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.” How true!

And finally – ‘Y’ – the last letter, stands for You – and for me, too. Only YOU can make this happen.

The writer is chairperson, the Aditya Birla Centre for Community Initiatives and Rural Development. www.adityabirla.com