Make The Most Of Life

Instructions: Score 1point for every statement that you agree with.

• I am quick to say yes to requests before taking the time to consider what the task involves, or the time it may take.

• I have a difficult time telling family members and friends that they have done something that offends me.

• Sometimes it is hard to hang up on telemarketers, or to tell salespeople in stores that I am just window shopping.

• Voicing my opinion when a group is discussing an important matter is difficult, even when I think my opinion is valuable.

• Having to ask for clarification when I am confused about what someone has said makes me feel incompetent.

• I do not accept criticism well. I often get resentful or overreact to others who find fault in my performance or actions.

• I have difficulty accepting compliments and sometimes downplay my accomplishments, appearances or abilities.

• Requesting favors from others is something I do not often do.

• I have trouble informing people that I have changed my mind after I have agreed to do something for them.

• Returning an improperly prepared meal in a restaurant (or a defective item purchased in a store) is difficult for me.

Your score is __________________

INTERPRET YOUR SCORE

0 to 3 – A score of 0 indicates general comfort in expressing your preferences and opinions, as well as a generally high confidence level. If you checked a few items on the list, you may have difficulty asserting yourself in some specific circumstances and not in others. Look at the items again and see if there are any patterns of certain types of situations which make you uncomfortable. Work on these first, using the advice on these pages, to improve your effectiveness in communication.

4 to 6 – Scores in this range may indicate a general discomfort in requesting what you want, difficulty refusing what you don’t want, and hesitation in expressing your feelings. Use the advice on these pages as a start in becoming more assertive and persuasive in your interpersonal communication. If unassertiveness is a result of low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence, or depression, you may want to personally contact me or a mental health professional.

7 to 10 – Your responses have indicated that you may have a great deal of difficulty asserting yourself in wide variety of situations. Assertiveness is not just a matter of “getting what you want”. It’s communicating effectively and learning not to give in when you don’t want to. A serious problem with lack of assertiveness and low self-esteem can lead to being taken advantage of or, in the worst case, being abused. Lack of assertiveness can be a sign of more serious personal problems. These pages can help get you started, however, if you find that low self-esteem or lack of confidence is seriously preventing you from achieving your goals, personally contact me or some other mental health professional.

Tags: Assertiveness, Quizzes

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